Just last week, Russell and I had a serious yet a funny conversation that some of my friends don’t even believe that such conversation is just "fine" with me.
Here is the thing: I asked Russell if he didn’t have any flings or any one-night stand experience in the entire 5-year course of relationship. I can no longer remember what triggered me to engage in this kind conversation but I guess, the only rational reason I could think of is I want us to have a fresh start as we begin a new life together. In other words, I want him to share me his deep dark secrets the same way that I will reveal to him any flirting moments that I did (well, if there is any..LOL)
At first, he was quite hesitant over admitting to me that he had some "friendly dates" especially during those times that we are heading the rough roads in our relationship. But when I told him that it’s fine with me and I can totally understand it (since we are dealing with alonger distance relationships and I just can give him some of his needs), he revealed not just one but 4 flings! LOL I believe that he is nice and contrary to what most people believe on the nice guy syndrome, he didn’t finish last. In fact, he is the best candidate as the pick up artist especially when girls talk to him over chat room. Him, as Mr. Nice Guy is something new to me because we met each other in a not so ideal way. I guess he uses different styles of how to meet women, something which my brother ahs to learn (oOoOpps, I forgot. He now has a girlfriend!) For all those torpes and nice guys out there, here are some things to ponder:
Nice guys, sometimes:
- Want people to just like them for who they are now
- Don't realize that their nice guy behavior is hurting their dating life, not to mention their career and social life
Assume that changing their behavior would be an insult to their personal values on 'being nice' to others
- Are too afraid to be anything other than nice (i.e. flirtatious, challenging behavior around women), out of fear of being laughed at, punished or judged
- Think that everyone else is wrong and people should just be nicer to each other
- Don't want to admit to themselves that they need to change, because that would mean taking risks and changing.
- Don't know where to start
So, where do you start and what is the quick solution? The solution is not to go from being a nice guy, to being a bad-boy who treats women badly. No. The fastest, most effective and longest-lasting solution is to go from being a nice guy to a good guy with EDGE. Now, chances are – you are already a good guy! Awesome, you're half-way there. The next steps are to develop the EDGE that women are attracted to. What is a good guy with edge? A good guy with edge is a nice guy (not like the nice guy outlined in Tip #1), who also demonstrates the personality traits and behaviors that women are attracted to. Things like:
- Alpha male qualities.
Want to know more? Better check this out.
Labels: benjamin talks, russell