WHEN THET SPEAKS: Unbounded.Uncensored.Unsuppressed.No Rules.No Non-Sense.

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No Holds Barred: A compilation of rants, raves, movie and book reviews, R & R escapades, relationships, office workloads, and stories to ponder. For this year, this is also going to be our wedding blog. Updates and Review on Wedding Suppliers will posted here...Honeymoon experience and other escapades will also be posted.
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Saturday, September 29, 2007
Russell and I just got into a fight. A fight that started with a joke. A joke that made me feel offended. Even though we are going to be married in 3 months time, it doesn't give him the license to tell me all those trashy things in this world. I still deserve to be respected. I am his wife. I am not his b!@tch.

Well, I want to believe that what Russell said is what really mad but as I lay in my bed, I realized that it's not really what he said. It's just an excuse, I guess. I am really not that sensitive. Could it be that I am under "red alert"? the gloomy weather? the Endless love series I just finished? Or could it be anxiety attack couple with being irritable? I don't know.

In 14 days, I'll finally see the moron I have been waiting for the past 19 months. Isn't this what I want? Isn't this what I am looking forward as every day goes by? I am afraid. The idea of getting married is now finally sinking into my cells-less brains. Sure, wedding preparations can be exciting and fun. But beyond that, I have so many fears now. So many worries to think about. I am not really that domesticated. I did not come from a rich family but I grew up with a house help so I never really had the chance to wash my own clothes, clean up all the clutters in my room and prepare any dishes. With that, I have so many questions in my mind. Will I make a good wife? Will I be able to take good care of him? Can I really wake up early in the morning to prepare all the things he need before going to work? Would I be able to cook all his favorite dishes? What if he ask me to stop doing things I really enjoy, will I be willing to compromise for the sake of being together? Do I need to make "pakisama" to his friends? What if in the long run (I am praying so hard that this will not happen-- i simply love 'em all) his family and I will be caught in a misunderstanding? In short, am i really ready to get married? What if we end up better with out each other?

I don't understand why I am feeling all these jitters. Am I a run-away-bride in the making? Paranoia?! Oh God...please bring back the sanity in me.

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posted by ruther @ 5:25 PM  
  • At 9/30/2007 12:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i came across of your blog as a link from the blog that i used to visit. just to share to you my past relationship. we've been on for 5 years, there were no problems with our families, they've been asking us to get married on our 2nd year, but i always say not yet, and reason out that as what they're saying, there are no problems, so why hurry up. this was due to that inner voice that keeps on telling me. 'not yet' and when asked why? i don't know the answer. in short, on our year of planning to get married, he cheated on me when he had the chance to be assigned for 3 months abroad. it was painful but GOD has his reason.after 3 years, i found the love of my life not in the Philippines but here in USA. I'm married now and living in USA, alone without relatives. my friends live in different states. so all by myself. i honestly don't know anything about chores because since i was born, i have my yaya with me. i've been here for 3 years, still struggling with the domesticity issues. i hate cooking and tired to do the chores after i come home from office. so it's truly a struggle. but you need to ask yourself, is the man that i married worth all these sacrifices that im having? if yes! that's true love. it takes true love to endure and hurdle obstacles that will come your way as a couple. congratulations and may GOD grants you peace of mind......just call me lala.

  • At 9/30/2007 7:19 AM, Blogger ghee said…

    Thet,hindi lang naman ikaw ang nakaka ranas nang ganyang fear before getting married,halos lahat yata kaya may mga runaway bride,LOL!

    the wedding wont be a problem,i suppose,yung period of adjustment nyo ang mahirap na part..after the wediing syempre and mostly,it will take 3 yrs.

    goodluck and congrats!!JUST BE HAPPY!!

  • At 9/30/2007 7:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hi thet! it's true and I agree that the wedding preparation is fun and exciting. I suggest that if you both have time and would be better that you both really find time to attend those pre-wedding seminars. I think ateneo has that, maybe you can ask around kung san meron. most of it in house or over the weekend yung seminars. maybe it can help in someway for noth of you together to face these possibilities together before your wedding. kami ng hubby ko meron sana that time but was not able to find time.

    i think it's normal and part na talaga that at the start which could take 1 year to 3, 5 or seven years, no one actually knows when you can learn to totally accept each other-the person you personally chose to marry in the first place. The problem lies when you want to change that person to the kind of person you want him to be. it's not that easy. there are times that they will never change for you even if you are his wife. marriage is not something that you can throw away when you don't want it anymore. you have to accept men as what they are. hay naku na prove ko rin in some way that what my married female friends told me are true. but in the end decision mo magpakasal. it's really two way. minsan nakakaloka yung mga husband. parang wala lang nangyari kahit 100 miles na ang takbo ng bibig mo. sometimes too it comes to a point na nakakapagod na silang kausapin coz it seems you never get through them. totoo na women are more mature than men. proven ko yan. but if you really love you man, kahit masama pa sya, you will accept him but I don;t agree that you have to tolerate him. help him change coz if you matter to him, he will listen to you and respect you.

    basta wag kayong mag away because of money kasi nakakakarma yan at lumalayo ang swerte. settle your problems before going to sleep or at least make peace kahit alam natin not all conflicts are settled or can be settled overnight.

    wag ka rin magsumbong kung kaya sa mga inlaws. dunno ha coz talaga kung pwede if you can resolve it by yourselves wag mo na idamay ang iba. masama lang ang impression na iiwan sa iba. pero kung may abuse, physical or emotional sa part mo, hay isumbong mo sa pulis hehehe

    sa tingin ko rin mag aadjust talaga kayo coz long distance yung relationship ny diba? swerte na lang kung click agad. God bless!

  • At 9/30/2007 10:32 AM, Anonymous TED said…

    It's natural to be nervous about such things. Just open up the lines of communication with him. He's just as nervous as you are and has just as many questions. He may not admit it, but it's true.

    Jst remember why you're getting married and remember that you're not alone, it's a decision you both made based on love and trust.

    Communication is key. Talk about things and get the fears and nervousness out in the open. And pray about them alone and maybe together.

    You're not a "freak" because you're nervous and have questions. Marriage is a huge step involving a total life change. If you weren't nervous about it, something would be wrong. Ha!

    I hope all works out well. (=-

  • At 9/30/2007 10:57 AM, Blogger Engr. Cesar Noel said…

    Hi thet! this kind of arguements/fights are normal when your in a relationship. Me and my wife always get in an arguments on several things but it doesn't mean you don't love each other.

  • At 9/30/2007 11:58 AM, Anonymous karmi said…

    hmmm.. normal nga lang siguro yan ate.. well, wala pa akong alam sa mga ganyang bagay dahil di pa naman ako kinakasal o balak magpakasal... napapanood ko lang sa tv eh.. ^_^

    sabi nga nila, madali daw makibagay ang babae sa kung anong sitwasyon sya andun.. sa umpisa lang po siguro kayo manganagpa pero malalaman nyo rin po ung dapat nyong gawin..

    gudluck and congrats ate.. ^_^

  • At 9/30/2007 12:07 PM, Blogger Kristine said…

    Hi sis! In one way naiintindihan kita kaya di pa rin ako maka-oo sa bf ko to settle down. I still have some issues sa sarili ko na I know kaylangan kong ayusin muna. Anyway, Yung misunderstanding nyo, sana maayos na. MAYBE when you finally see each, you'll feel different again. Alam mo naman tayong mga babae, medyo pabago-bago ng isip diba? At times, we let our emotions get in the way, sabi nga nila. Siguro just stay focused on the things that you have to do then IF IT FINE with you, try opening these issues you have with him, if you are open sa ganung bagay and can speak with him about them. And pray for Him to help you make the RIGHT decision for the both of you. When you get married, it's a lifetime and life-changing decision talaga, diba? So ayun lang. :) Take care lagi...

  • At 9/30/2007 1:15 PM, Anonymous bea said…

    hehehe natuwa ako dun sa mga options mong ibinigay (on red alert, the gloomy weather, Engless Love series...)siguro the answer is all of the above hehehe.

    seriously,i guess it's pretty normal for the bride-to-be to be feeling that way. tapos, on "red alert" ka pa nga.pag nasa ganyang stage tayong mga gurls, may hormonal changes and medyo nagiging sensitive.

    thanks for stopping by my blog. pasensya na it hasn't been updated yet. am too busy at work and is travelling from time to time.

    ingat and good luck!

  • At 9/30/2007 6:48 PM, Blogger ann santos said…

    hi, thet! i don't think you'll be a runaway bride. i think it's just pre-wedding jitters that you're having. and besides the measure of being a wife and a mom doesn't begin and end with you knowing or not knowing how to do household chores. so, just stay calm and believe in yourself. everything will be alright.

  • At 9/30/2007 7:55 PM, Blogger ruther said…

    i appreciate all those thoughts and pieces of advice you guys gave...

    it's not a question of whether I am going to marry the right person because I have been engaged for two years now. Yep, 2 years engagement is what we have set, ample time to think about whether we are ready to take our relationship one step forward.

    siguro the idea of me leaving our house is also one of the factors why I am feeling this way. Saka mejo natatakot ako sa stories of adjustment period..nakaka praning lang. Shempre di na ko pwedeng basta na lang mag walk out kapag may arguments and may issues na hindi ma-resolve. mixed emotions talaga...

  • At 9/30/2007 7:56 PM, Blogger ruther said…

    sa mga nagcomment po ng anonymous, sana next time leave me with your website or email so that I can back at you..I am really grateful with all those nuggets of wisdeom you are sharing... :)

  • At 9/30/2007 9:46 PM, Blogger KaThYcOt ;p said…

    ateng! nawindang ako sa ruther name na yan..kala ko kung sinong likil ang nag co-comment.. anyhoo, relax ka lang mare! super normal naman ata ganyang feeling eh, lalo na pag papalapit na ang wedding day, ngaragan na kaya panay na din ang hasik ng awayan kasi taranta at jitters na din. would u believe, kame nga ni Amiel the night before our wedding eh meron kameng 'DRAMA MOMENTS' na parang pang teleserye ang mode! as in away at iyakan talaga,kaya ang mga parents mega pangaral, i was thinking back then na tumakbo talaga kasi i was on the end of the knot na that time.pero with God's help tuloy ang life..with a baby! :) everything will be alright mare... and yeah,you'll learn how to cook..women's instinct yan, gisa lang ng gisa! :)
    haba neto...heehehe

  • At 9/30/2007 9:57 PM, Anonymous Gladys said…

    Love this song so much. Kaka-touch :)

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About Me
Name: ruther
Home: Ontario, Canada
About Me: *25-something faggot *proud pinay *business degree imbecile *iskolar ng bayan *former student activist *call center quality assurance supervisor* former DELL computer technician* *prefers grave yard shift rather than day shift job *doesn't drink nor smoke *koreanovela sucker *lead guitarist *internet-holic *bossa nova aficionado *KFC extreme hot shots lover *imago's fan *sydney bristow apprentice(wish!) *gil grissom struggling student(talk about being geek!) *jack bauer's love interest(another wish!) *michael scofield's savior(get real!)* avid follower of jerry bruckheimer *soon-to-be-bride of a very wonderful groom.
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