WHEN THET SPEAKS: Unbounded.Uncensored.Unsuppressed.No Rules.No Non-Sense.

I woke up this morning with a hug and a kiss from my loving husband-to-be. I was shivering from the cold air brought by the AC system in his room. After years of waking up alone every morning/night, it feels weird and at the same time joyful that finally, somebody is now with me to share beautiful mornings. At around 10:30, I crave for Jollibbe spicy chicken. My uberly cute-na-cute fiance traveled all teh way from Noveleta to Cavite City just to satisfy my cravings! I soOoOooOo love him! He also bought me medicine for my terrible cough.

Friday, October 12. Aside from the fact that it's a holiday, this day is just an ordinary day for me. As usual, I came to work with no make-up; just tied my long hair; wore at-shirt and faded jeans and my ever realible tsinelas na pambahay . LOL While I was swamped with work with side-chatting err bullying my QASs, our lovable security officer, Mang Jolly, approached me, saying that a certain "Ton-Ton" is outside and he wants to talk to me. Dang! My heart was beating so fast. Ton-ton is my brother and the fact that he hasn't visited me in the office in the entire 2 years tells me that something went wrong at home. From a bully face, my face turned into a poker face- something that got my QASs made worried as well. As I stepped outside the 4th floor, I see nobody. I told myself, maybe he is in the lobby so I'm just gonna go downstairs. A few steps before I headed to the elevator, "something" tells me that "somebody" is watching me. There I saw Russell. But wait! Isn't this image just an apparition?! Russell is supposed to be home on Sunday, not on Friday. I froze for like 5 seconds and then, the apparition was walking towards me! Oh God, is this really Russell?! When he smiled, that's the only time I recovered. Immediately, he hugged me but instead of embracing him back, I gave him a powerful right job. Apparently, he arrived 9:30 Friday morning. Hahahahahaha! Tantado ito! Kala ko, multo na nakita ko! Alright, setting being bully aside, after giving him a tight job ala Manny Pacquiao, I hugged and kissed him and asked him to go with me on my desk. A few steps before we reached our work area, I noticed that most of my QAS were standing, as if they are waiting to see what's gonna happen. When they saw me with a man, they instantly knew that "That is Russell!" Why not?! I have Russell's picture in my desk. Anyway, when Olive and James teased me, I blushed. As in really blushed. Eh gatong pa ang mga bakla by saying that we're like Kim Chiu and Gerald A. Somebody even sang Kim Chiu's Crazy Love (?) Naku, patay kang bata ka! Riot na ito. "Hoy, magtrabaho kayo kung di i-issuehan ko kayo ng work avoidance!" LOL

What I really felt were mixed emotions. I was happy and surprised because I didn't expect that a predictable man to do something unpredictable like this. On the other, I was disappointed with myself because I didn't really get my self to really dress up and look more presentable in Russell's eyes. Sayang ang plan naming mga bakla. We were supposed to go to the gym and they will accompany me in a salon where I could have my hair dyed and trim. After that, we were also planning to go Glorietta so that Josh and I could buy some MAC make up products para naman di mukhang haggard ang fez ni atashi. All those plans vanished! Ay sus me! Russell saw me without lip gloss! Ewwwww!!! Anyhow, after finalizing some documents needed for our new payroll system, I immediately had a break. We went to Metrowalk with no specific bar/resto to go to. At the parking lot, I was about to step out of the car when Russell stopped me. Dun daw muna kami sa loob ng kotse. Aba, 'tong manyakis na to. Magtigil ka, hindi mo kotse tong dala mo at hindi tinted ng windows. LMAO We stayed in the car for about 10 minutes with so little words uttered. Ala lang... tamang serenity and cherishing the moment. Ok, fine I admit. We kissed. We kissed like hell. Ikaw ba naman ang di makatikim ng kiss for 19 months eh ewan ko na lang. Parang gusto kong maging Tina Paner at kumanta ng "Tamis ng Unang Halik" hehehehehe!

Anyway, we went to Oyster boy. We had some baked oysters and a bottle of ice cold San Mig Light. Earlier that day, I didn't plan to go on half day but after finishing my San Mig bottle, I think uuwi na kami. hihihihihihi. I really wanted to go home as early as 11pm but since we're gonna have a farewell dinner for Iris (and that needs a separate entry), we have no other choice but to join the team.

So there, we went to his home in Cavite at around 2:30 am na. But I think I slept at around 4am pa. Usually, if I am tired, I would doze off so easily. But how can I sleep when someone right beside me is snoring like hell?! LOL Good thing that that we don't have any itinerary for Saturday morning so I can sleep all day that I want. At around 1pm, Russ told me that his mom called him and said that we're off to Tagaytay for dinner. We immediately prepped ourselves and headed to Caltex where we were supposed to meet. We were expecting that we're gonna man the cashier area pero since 2 naman yung present na assitants, dun na lang kami sa sulok na table. For some reason, Mama Luvie got stacked in her rotary meeting. To kill boredom, we ate some squash seeds and fool around with Russell's new DSLR.





It was around 4:30 when Mama Luvie and Daddy Ramir came back from their meeting so instead of going to Tagaytay, we ended up going to Dampa Roxas-Seaside Market. I have been to this place a lot of times already though I haven't done the marketing yet so when we joined Mama Luvie as she does the pamamalengke, we really had a great time. I didn't know that even crabs have BAKLA. And take note mga tsufateed, mas mahal ang baklang alimango kesa sa babae huh... tarush noh!

We really did have a great time especially humabol ang brother in-law ni Russell na si Ronnel. It was like one big happy family. :)

We took home 3 kilos of lanzones and 2 kilos of mangosteen and 2 DVDs. It was around 9:30 when we finally went home. I was pretty exhausted miski wala naman mshadong ginawa so I unknowingly napped for about 15 mins. Russell grabbed this opportunity naman to fix the wireless router connection for his sister and all the notebooks they have at home. When I woke up and saw that Russell is not in the room, I decided to watch Chuck and Larry on my own. Siguro sa sobrang pagod talaga, I never get to finish the flick and dozed off at around 12 na.



The following day, we started the day with a mass. Girlie was not there as she attended her Sunday-AutoCad course in Informatics. We planned to attend the Rockwell Bridal Fair but due to the limited time that we have, we just went to Gateway where I bought Russell a few boxer shorts and 10 blank CD-RWs. We also went to Farmer's Dampa and had some food that we brought home. Russell and my parents had some nice conversation over dinner. My nephew, Kenneth, really showed his Tito Russell how kulit he is now. Bebeh also saw my niece, Akane for the first time. Right before Russell left, we saw one of our Ninang to-be, Ninang Puring outside our house while having their usual nigh time chismisan session with my mudrax. XD


HayyyY the past 2 days have been tiring for me. Tiring but filled with happiness. I'm gonna be inactive again as the next few days will be dedicated to more extensive wedding preparation activities. :)

Russell and I just got into a fight. A fight that started with a joke. A joke that made me feel offended. Even though we are going to be married in 3 months time, it doesn't give him the license to tell me all those trashy things in this world. I still deserve to be respected. I am his wife. I am not his b!@tch.

Well, I want to believe that what Russell said is what really mad but as I lay in my bed, I realized that it's not really what he said. It's just an excuse, I guess. I am really not that sensitive. Could it be that I am under "red alert"? the gloomy weather? the Endless love series I just finished? Or could it be anxiety attack couple with being irritable? I don't know.

In 14 days, I'll finally see the moron I have been waiting for the past 19 months. Isn't this what I want? Isn't this what I am looking forward as every day goes by? I am afraid. The idea of getting married is now finally sinking into my cells-less brains. Sure, wedding preparations can be exciting and fun. But beyond that, I have so many fears now. So many worries to think about. I am not really that domesticated. I did not come from a rich family but I grew up with a house help so I never really had the chance to wash my own clothes, clean up all the clutters in my room and prepare any dishes. With that, I have so many questions in my mind. Will I make a good wife? Will I be able to take good care of him? Can I really wake up early in the morning to prepare all the things he need before going to work? Would I be able to cook all his favorite dishes? What if he ask me to stop doing things I really enjoy, will I be willing to compromise for the sake of being together? Do I need to make "pakisama" to his friends? What if in the long run (I am praying so hard that this will not happen-- i simply love 'em all) his family and I will be caught in a misunderstanding? In short, am i really ready to get married? What if we end up better with out each other?

I don't understand why I am feeling all these jitters. Am I a run-away-bride in the making? Paranoia?! Oh God...please bring back the sanity in me.

Aside from the stress that I am getting from work, the petty quarrels that I have with Russell make me 'drain.' I will not disclose the issues we are dealing with because those are just 'kababawan.' People close to me know that I'd rather die than keep my issues within myself. I am a very vocal person. But over the time, I guess I have come into the maturity stage where I have realized that some things are better left unsaid, especially if saying the things I mean to say would just hurt the people that are dear to me. Russell and I are doing great now. I am so giddy with the fact that he has already scheduled his flight and he is bound to arrive in Manila, morning of October 15.

It is still raining. Though I feel more relaxed, I feel a little depressed. I am not deviant albeit. A lot of people are experiencing some sort of depression during rainy season. (EDIT: Sunlight produces MELANOCYTES which produces melantonin. Melatonin is anti-depressant daw. That is why a lot of people tend to be happy during summer despite of the scorching heat and people tend to be sad/depressed during rainy season because rain prevents sun from emitting melatonin. This is according to a radio program I listened to on my way to work last Friday.)


Blaming it to the gloomy weather, I'm going to Trinoma, (together with the rest of my family) to watch a movie. Most probably, Mudrax and I gonna watch A Love Story while the rest of the family members will watch a flick that has something to do with Penguin as requested by my loving nephew.

I know I ought to visit blogs that are listed in my blogroll. I will resume my blog hopping session when I get back tonight, pramis po.

Later alligator!

Two months na lang..I mean two months pa! Leche, ano bang nangyayari sa 'ken ngayon? Nakatagal na ko ng 16 na buwan pero inip na inip na ko sa dalawang buwan. Gusto kong umiyak pero mukha naman akong gago pag ginawa ko yun. Gusto kung gumimik pero alam ko mabo-bored lang ako bigla. Kapag nasa kwarto naman ako, ang lungkot-lungkot. Kapag naman tinapa ang munti kong acoustic na gitara, ikaw naman ang naalalako. Nami-miss na kita. Pero kapag kausap naman kita sa telepono o kausap sa YM, iritable naman ako. Kapag andito ka, hindi tayo nag-aaway. Pero kapag malayo ka na, hindi lalagpas ang isang linggo na hindi kita 'inaaway'. Ano ba ito?!!!??? ANAK NAMAN NG TINAPA! Pati ako, nahihirapan ispelengin ang sarili ko, pakshet! Alam ko mahirap intidihin ang babae, pero babae naman ako. bakit kaya hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko? Nababaliw na nga yata ako. I wanna ride a roller coaster and scream out loud!!!!! OO, alam ko ang labo ko. May saltik na nga yata ako. Pero alam ko din, mahal mo naman ako kahit ganito ako ka-abnormal di ba? Wag mo na i-decipher kung ano nasa utak ko. Magkaiba naman kasi wavelength pag-iisip natin. Basta pabayaan mo na lang muna kung nag-iinarte na naman ako ngayon. Lilipas din 'to.

Naalala mo pa ito? 2 years ago, sabi ko sa 'yo nun masakit ang ulo ko kaya kantahan mo ko. Nung kumunta ka naman, nainis na mejo natawa ako kasi SINTUNADO ka. Ngayon naman, hinahanap-hanap ko ang ang pagkanta mo. Sabi mo ka-boses mo si Rico Blanco. Ang sabi ko naman, hindi mo sya ka-boses kung di kamukha mo sya kasi pareho kayong ma-pimple (NOON yon...) Miski wala sa tono, mapagti-tyagaan ko. Basta sana andito ka, nakikita ko kung pano ka kumakanta at dalawa tayong tumutugtog ng gitara....

Malayo pa ba ang October? Wag mo kong pagtawanan. Di naman ako nakabatak. Di rin ako adik. Alam ko naman ang sagot sa tanong ko. Naiinip na lang talaga ako. Isang milyong tupa na ang nabibilang ko. Pati directory ng Bayantel, nabasa ko na ng buo. Wala na lang talagang magawa. Pede kayang bumili ng oras?