WHEN THET SPEAKS: Unbounded.Uncensored.Unsuppressed.No Rules.No Non-Sense.

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No Holds Barred: A compilation of rants, raves, movie and book reviews, R & R escapades, relationships, office workloads, and stories to ponder. For this year, this is also going to be our wedding blog. Updates and Review on Wedding Suppliers will posted here...Honeymoon experience and other escapades will also be posted.
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Just another lonely post...
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
By this time that I am composing this post, it's already 10am. At this hour, I should have been sleeping. I should been asleep as early as 8am to ensure that my energy will be rejuvenated for my daily 8pm-4am work shift. But I can't sleep...

Two Different World

500, 000 miles apart

Russell read the post that I had a couple of days ago. He sent me an email saying "
Thank you. You've been sweet for the first time." Upon reading it, I was stunned. I didn't realize that I have been intensely cold to him. Looking back, I realized how unreceptive I am every time he would open up a topic or simply make a joke just to put a smile on my face. ***Sigh***

There are no best comforting words to say but "I am sorry baby."

Lately, I have been too much pre-occupied with work and other wedding related stuff. And I know, these things are consuming my time and energy that I sometimes tend to forget attending Russell's emotional needs. Sometimes, I would even get mad at him and accusing him of being insensitive of how I feel. At first, I intentionally did these things just to avoid the feeling of being ALONE and LONELY. The sense of being empty. Sometimes, I provoke arguments especially when I miss him. Maybe you can call it defense mechanism. Sometimes, things like these get into my head. I can't help buy cry and pity myself. The last time I saw Russell was March 28, 2006. That was the last time that I felt his tender lips; the last time that I felt his warm embrace; the last time I tried to hide my real feelings over the fact that he is going to leave me and that this time, it is going to be a freaking 17 months of waiting. Russell will be home October 2007. We need a lot of catching up. On December (the month of our wedding), I am going to be on leave for one month. If I have to get a prepaid SIM card to ensure that nobody will disturb us, I will. It's just gonna be Me, Russell and this crazy world. Nothing and no one can intervene. Kelangan ko bumawi kay Baby.

Sorry naman for this uber mushy post... I can't help it. I think I'm gonna explode if I am not able to say this. HayYyyY...how I wish it's already the 'BER months.

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posted by ruther @ 9:06 PM  
  • At 7/19/2007 6:51 AM, Anonymous `ch13f said…

    how sweet of you miss thet!
    i envy your husband now, at least diba, you realized na you were cold to him for the rest of the waiting ..

    well, there is still a lot of time to make up with those! hehe ..

    keep the love alive miss thet!
    take care and GOD bless!

  • At 7/19/2007 7:32 PM, Blogger Eden said…

    wow! malapit ka na pala ikasal ate? ang sweet naman...ibig sabihin naiintindihan ka niya. kasi kahit naging cold ka sa kanya andyan pa rin siya. tama?

  • At 7/20/2007 2:38 AM, Blogger upoytao said…

    uy uy uy kailangan bigyan mo siya ng tendah labing kehr hehehe ^_^

  • At 7/20/2007 10:34 AM, Anonymous Sonnie said…

    A unique love story. Wishing you all the best

  • At 7/20/2007 4:54 PM, Blogger QT said…

    almost the same tayo ng love story. products tayo ng technology =D

  • At 7/21/2007 4:11 AM, Anonymous Elizar said…

    when you guys are meant to be, you're meant to be...

    iba talaga feeling ng in love...

  • At 7/21/2007 12:42 PM, Anonymous Jaywalker said…


    Congratulations on your getting hitched or was it Russel I should say this, lol. Anyway, that is really swell and awesome that love do exist even in the impersonal cold cyberworld. Hope you guys post the developments here so we can get updated (more of usyusero hahaha & tsismoso) and get to watch in your bedrooms errr your happenings.

  • At 7/25/2007 4:30 AM, Anonymous SEO Services said…

    Sometimes you will only feel how important someone in your life either when his dead or gone, peter out things like your being insensitive, easily angered by little things, you should appreciate how he is in your life, and think about how your world will progress if he is not around.

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About Me
Name: ruther
Home: Ontario, Canada
About Me: *25-something faggot *proud pinay *business degree imbecile *iskolar ng bayan *former student activist *call center quality assurance supervisor* former DELL computer technician* *prefers grave yard shift rather than day shift job *doesn't drink nor smoke *koreanovela sucker *lead guitarist *internet-holic *bossa nova aficionado *KFC extreme hot shots lover *imago's fan *sydney bristow apprentice(wish!) *gil grissom struggling student(talk about being geek!) *jack bauer's love interest(another wish!) *michael scofield's savior(get real!)* avid follower of jerry bruckheimer *soon-to-be-bride of a very wonderful groom.
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