I am a self-confessed 24 addict. Naknangpating! When the first 4 episodes (2-day back to-back pilot telecast) of 24 went out in the black market , I insanely headed to Quiapo to get myself a copy. To make me look even more obsessed with Jack Bauer, I bought again another DVD copy of 24 Season 6, this time with 13 episodes in it. Thanks to the court room drama series in Crime Suspense because for a while, my obsession with Jack Bauer was put into halt. Two weeks ago, I finally got myself a copy of the full episodes of Season 6. Right after coming from my graveyard shift, I had a 24 marathon and so I finished 24's latest season in less than 12 hours. walang kain at tulog yan....lol Season 6 was quite different because this time, Jack is going to save his own life (albeit, di pa rin mawawala ung dramang "i need to protect the american people."). Crap but it entertains me.
Today, as I tuned in again to Crime Suspense Channel to watch my latest addiction (Shark, another courtroom drama), I was surprised to learn that CS is having a REAL 24-HOUR MARATHON of 24 Season 5. It turned out that they started the marathon at 6am and apparently, it will end by tomorrow at 6am (malamang noh kaya nga 24 eh!). It's like a refresher course since they are going to air 24 Season 6 on Tuesday. They also have an hourly game today---trivia questions from the past seasons of 24. I am really tempted to join the contest kaso, mas bet ko yatang manood na lang ng CSI LV. Anyhoo, yesterday I joined a blog community for 24 fanatics like me. As I am about to enjoy reading what's hot in the community, I found this article and really, it made me crack. lol
How to act on Talk Like Jack Bauer Day
-Make sure to yell very simple requests.
-Take a helicopter to work.
-Issue threats that involve family members and/or body parts.
-Always mention that you're running out of time.
-Carry a manpurse. Wear aviators. Don't do drugs.
-Start each conversation with "I'm federal agent (your name), and today is the longest day of my life".
-Carry around zip ties and a pair of pliers (because you never know).
-Ask a coworker for either a hacksaw or lighter fluid.
-Keep a car battery and some jumper cables on your desk.
-Use your cell phone as much as possible. If the battery dies, just pretend it's still working.
-End phone calls by stating "remember, I'm in a Flank 2 position". Works well when you are on a conference call.
-Use at least 5 exclamation points in every email!!!!!
-Ask "Who are you working for!?" to as many people as possible.
-Throw out a "Dammit" during the day, just for the hell of it.
-Drink each time you hear a co-worker say "Dammit".
-Make a mistake at work? Blame Nina Myers.
-Request everything be sent to your PDA (works best if you don't have one).
-Accuse co-workers and/or children of being moles.
-Make sure to let your co-workers catch you looking at Google Earth maps of their houses. When they ask why, tell them that you've tracked a terrorist cell to that location.
Samples
Co-worker: How was your weekend?
You: damnit Bob, we don't have time for simple questions.
Co-worker: I just asked about your weekend.
You: Dammit. Who are you working for?
Co-worker: Never mind, forget I asked.
***
Co-worker: Hey man. Did you already get breakfast?
You: I've killed 3 people today and no I've yet to eat breakfast. Dammit!
Co-worker: Is that a threat?
You: That's not a threat, that's a fact.
***
Boss: Hey, where are the reports I asked for?(pull out stapler, move towards boss)
You: I think the question you should be asking is how are you going to read the reports after I staple your eyelids to your desk!
***
(If a co-worker tries to talk to you while you're using the urinal, finish up, flush, walk over to the sink, wash your hands, and remove a paper towel from the dispenser.)
You: You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful. (Reference)
***
Co-worker: Hey, can you cover for me? I need to run an errand.
You: Let's get one thing straight--- the only reason you're still conscious is that I don't want to do your work for you.
Finally, remember that for the whole 24 hours of Talk Like Jack Bauer Day, you cannot go to the bathroom or charge a cell phone. Also, it should only take you a maximum of 3 minutes to get anywhere you are going.
***
Can I try these lines and use this as I talk to our newly-promoted but old biatch manager??? LOLz
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Oi kabibili ko lang din nyang season 6!!! Di ko pa napapanood. Pero nasimulan ko na, ang ganda nga.